Nick Mott (he/him) has been volunteering with Opening Doors for two and a half years and has recently been appointed as a Trustee of the organisation. We asked Nick a few questions about what it’s like to volunteer, how he makes it work, and his advice for future volunteers.
How did you get into volunteering?
I’ve been a school governor for 5 years and had done some ad-hoc volunteering for some LGBT+ charities, mainly around Pride, before discovering Opening Doors.
I got to hear about Opening Doors through my work LGBT+ network group. I learned about how older LGBT+ people could become isolated from other members of the community, as well as the possible difficulties of dealing with ‘institutions’ (healthcare and such) where people may not be accepting. Hence older people may feel unable to be ‘out’. I thought this a very worthwhile charity and arranged for my firm to support them via various events.
How do you fit volunteering in, around other commitments?
I work part-time but I do have plenty of time commitments on other things. When I first joined Opening Doors I intended to be an in-person befriender, but I realised that the time spent travelling would make fitting it in around work very difficult. Telefriending however, suits me perfectly as it’s on the phone home-based. You spend all the time actually doing the volunteering and once the call is over you’re free to turn to something else. It’s very time efficient and I can easily fit it in with other commitments.
What does your role as a befriender volunteer with OD involve and what skills do you need to have?
As a telefriending volunteer, I’m joined up with a telefriendee (an older LGBTQ+ person in need of support) and I call them on a regular basis, once a week for a 30-minute telephone chat.
Mainly it’s about being a good listener. Listening and trying to pick up on what your telefriender needs. We are all different and need different things depending on our mood, so you try to pick up the mood of the telefriendee on that occasion: how they are feeling, and adjust what you say and ask accordingly. You are largely guided by them. It’s not particularly difficult – it’s just what you would do if a friend wanted to have a chat.
What kind of training and support have you received?
I attended general volunteer training which makes you think about your responsibilities and those of Opening Doors, and what you can expect. More specific training has also been given for telefriending. There are also regular support calls for telefrienders where you can discuss matters which have arisen and receive advice and training on issues such as mental health, to increase your awareness. You can always discuss anything with the Coordinators who are very responsive.
What’s your experience of volunteering to date?
It’s been wonderful to work with Opening Doors and the volunteer team are such a friendly group of people. In the two and a half years I’ve been volunteering I’ve had two telefriendees, both very different people and from different age groups. During that time I have learned much about my telefriendee and his life. To have insight into the world of another is a great privilege and I’ve learned so much, not just about him, but also his interests, and what he enjoys and in doing so, I’ve learned more about myself. I so enjoy our conversations and look forward each week to the call.
What’s been your biggest highlight?
There are many, like hearing the amazing things my telefriendee has done. But really, the highlight is hearing his friendly voice each week.
Are there any challenges involved?
It’s sometimes challenging when I’ve wanted to be able to do more for my telefriendee than I can. But you have to recognise you cannot solve people’s problems unless they are simple. But what we can do is listen and be there for them, and report any concerns to an Opening Doors co-ordinator and let them take things from there.
Why do you think volunteering is important?
Volunteering – giving something of oneself to help others – is, I think, a very human thing to do. It’s a bit like the feeling one gets when giving a present to someone or doing an act of kindness. It’s good for the soul, as well as (hopefully) benefiting others!
You are now becoming a trustee of Opening Doors, how did that opportunity come about?
It certainly wasn’t a plan. Recently I’d been thinking that being a trustee in an LGBT+ charity is something I would like to do at some point. And then Opening Doors advertised for trustees. So I thought it was too good an opportunity to miss, and applied.
What are you most looking forward to doing as a trustee?
Being more deeply involved in a great charity that does so much good for older LGBT+ people.
What advice would you give to others thinking about volunteering?
Go for it, but recognise that it is a commitment, though of course there is flexibility. Pick something you realistically feel you have the time to do.
For more information about our befriending service with Opening Doors click here. Or, to sign-up as a telefriending volunteer like Nick, click here.